All is fair in love and war

Så jeg er bare innom for å fortelle dere at oneshoten i innlegget nedenfor, altså "He just needed a push", vant en konkuranse på mibba. Jeg er kjempeglad for det! Hele grunnen til at jeg skrev oneshoten var pga den konkuransen. Jeg meldte meg på fordi jeg savnet og skrive og fordi jeg følte jeg trengte å få tilbake litt inspirasjon. Jeg kom tilfeldigvis over den konkuransen på mibba, og jeg endte opp med å melde meg på. Da jeg meldte meg på hadde jeg ca tre uker på meg på å skrive den, men jeg endte opp med på grensen til å trekke meg. Fordi jeg ikke kunne komme på noe å skrive. Så noen dager før deadlinen spurte jeg om det var greit at jeg fikk utsettelse, og jeg fikk en ekstra uke. Jeg gikk hele den uken å tenkte, og til slutt kom jeg på noe. To dager før. Jeg brukte de to dagene, og hele dagen dealinen var på for å skrive den ferdig, og jeg endte opp med å levere den et par timer over deadlinen, men det var greit.

Jeg var ganske usikker på den, og jeg var ganske sikker på at jeg ikke kom til å vinne, siden jeg var sikker på at de andre var mye bedre enn min. Men jeg endte opp med å vinne da, så jeg er ganske glad for det :D Første konkuransen jeg noen gang har vunnet.

?Hey, wake up." Oliver got pulled from an amazing dream, only to wake up to a fairytale. When he opened his eyes, the first thing, he saw was the beautiful smile of his boyfriend, Dominick. A small smile crept up on his face, but a yawn ruined it.

?What time is it??

His boyfriend gave him a small peck on the cheek before getting up from bed.

?3 AM. We fell asleep last night. I got to go. You know, before anyone knows I was here. Stevie already called me a million times.?

Oliver sat up in bed and rubbed his eyes. He didn?t want Dominick to leave; that perfect moment would be ruined, and he knew that he didn?t get to speak to him before tonight, after his whole family had gone to sleep. And he didn?t want that. He wanted to be able to hug, kiss and hold hands with Dominick in school in front of their friends, at the mall in front of Dominick?s colleagues at American eagle and at their houses in front of their family. He wanted to do what a normal couple would do. However, that wasn?t what Dominick wanted, he wanted to hide, to sneak around, and not let anyone know that they were together.

?Do you really have to go? I don?t want you to."

They had been together for over a year, and it was still the same. No-one knew off them, not their best friends, not their family, no-one. They hadn?t been on a real date, and they hadn?t even told each other about their feelings. Oliver was hopelessly in love with Dominick, and he didn?t want to end things. Dominick, however, wasn?t sure about his feelings for Oliver. He liked spending time with him, and he loved just holding him in bed, watching him sleep, but he hated what he made Oliver go through. Even though Oliver didn?t say anything, he knew that he wanted more, wanted to be able to go out with him, wanted to walk up to him in school and give him a simple hug, and wanted him to come over for dinner, meet his family and just spend time with him outside the bedroom. However, Dominick knew he couldn?t. People wouldn?t accept him; he would lose his friends, his family and his life. They didn?t want a ?fag? in their life; to them, he would be a disgrace. He wouldn?t be one of the most popular boys in school; he wouldn?t be the star of the soccer team, wouldn?t have a job and he certainly didn?t have a place to live.

He saw how people in school treated Oliver; they called him names, pushed him around, made fun off him, ruined his things and threw food at him. He hated people doing that to him, seeing his boyfriend getting bullied every day was hard for him, but he couldn?t do anything. If he did he would be the one who defended the ?fag," and people would start wondering.

It killed him seeing Oliver in bed, looking tired and sad, asking him not to go. He looked so broken. He didn?t want to leave; he wanted to get undressed, go back to bed and just cuddle up to his boyfriend again and sleep until they had to go to school. He couldn?t, however. People would know that he wasn?t home, start asking where he was and what he was doing. He wasn?t ready for that.

?I do, you know I don?t want to, that I want to stay here with you. I just can?t. I?m sorry.?

Oliver looked down, rubbing his eyes, drying away the tears that were threatening to fall. He just wanted his boyfriend to stay there for one night. He wanted to wake up before him, kiss him awake, wanted to watch him get ready for school, wanted him to drive him to school, and kiss him goodbye before going to class.

Dominick got onto the bed and sat beside Oliver and lifted up his head.

?Hey, don't cry. I?ll be back later, after work. I promise.?

?I know. I just wish that one day; you?ll stay with me the whole night. I like having you here.?

?And someday I will, but just not right now. I?m not ready for it yet. You know I like being with you. If it?s something I would love to do, it would be sleeping next to you all night long, watching you get ready for school, eating breakfast with you and take you to school.?

He leaned down and gave Oliver a soft kiss on the lips, which made Oliver smile. At least he knew that they wanted the same thing.

?But now I really got to go. Go back to sleep, and I?ll see you tonight.?

Again, he leaned down and gave Oliver a quick kiss before going over to the window to climb out. Oliver just sat in bed looking after him.He still felt a little hurt that Dominick couldn?t stay over, even though he knew they wanted the same thing, to be a real couple. Dominick, however, wasn?t ready to face it. And it hurt him. He felt like he wasn?t good enough for him, that Dominick would be ashamed of him, of them, if he came out. He dried the last of his tears away, and got up from bed to grab his guitar. The only thing that helped him lately was to sing and play his guitar all by him self. Singing and playing lyrics, he wrote himself made him feel better.

After leaving Oliver?s house, Dominick started walking home. It wasn?t very far, but it was a bit cold, but driving to Oliver?s house would be a risky thing to do. People would see his car there, and his parents would know that he was gone if his car wasn?t at home. So he just walked every night.

Upon arriving at his house, he saw Stevie?s car in the driveway, and a light in his room, meaning that Stevie was there. A lot of thoughts went through his head at that moment, and he thought about an excuse to tell Stevie when he asked where he was. He could have been taken a walk, a very long walk. He could just have been out partying with some friends from work, or maybe on a date with a girl. No, he wouldn't say that, that wouldn't be fair to Oliver. He would just say that he went out with his friends from work. Stevie didn't know them, and he was banned from the American eagle anyway, so he wouldn't get to know them either, his colleagues didn't like him.He walked over to his window, opening it up so that it was open enough for him to climb in, and got in. Stevie was sitting in the couch watching TV, but turned around at the sound of people coming in.

?Where the hell have you been? I?ve been calling all night, and it?s almost four AM! I need a place to stay for a while. Parents kicked me out again. I won?t bother you for long; it's just until I can find my own place to stay.?

Dominick got inside, took of his jacket and shoes and jumped down on bed before answering Stevie. He needed to get him not to stay at his house. He would be there all the time, and that wouldn?t be good if he was going to Oliver?s house every night.

?I?ve been out with some friends from work. Just hanging out, drinking a little, not too much though, and we lost track of time. And I had my phone on vibrate. I always turn it on vibrate when I?m at work, and I just forget to turn it back on sometimes. Are you sure you want to stay here? I?ll be gone most of the time anyway; it won?t be any fun for you. I?ve got school, soccer practice, work and I?ve been asked to hang out with my friends for work everyday this week. I know I?m your best friend and everything, but are you sure you can?t ask anyone else to stay with them??

?Everyone has a girlfriend, and I really don?t want to live with somebody if I have to listen to them having sex all the time. You?re the only one of my friends who doesn?t have a girlfriend. Come on, just, please let me stay here; I won't be long; I promise. I can live with you being out all the time. Come on, we?ve been best friends since kindergarten; I'm partially your brother, and your parents know me. I?ll even cover for you when you?re out.?

He thought about it, and maybe it could be helpful. His parents always thought he was asleep, but what if they decided to check on him sometime, or ask him something important and his room was empty; he would be in so much trouble if they didn?t know where he was. And for all Stevie knew, he was out with his friend from work, who Stevie didn?t know, so it would all work out.

?I'll ask my parents tomorrow, but it can only be for a couple of weeks. You?ll get bored out of your mind if you stay here without me, since I?m mostly gone all the time.?

?Fine. Can we sleep now? I know it?s only a couple of hours until school start, but I?m pretty tired. Unlike you, who have been out all night having fun, I?ve just been sitting here watching TV and waiting for you to get back.?

?Fine, I?m a bit tired myself, so I?ll grab a bit of sleep too. You know where to find pillows and stuff, so help yourself. I?m going to the bathroom and get ready.?

The next day at school went as usual. Dominick and Oliver didn?t talk to each other at all; they went to their own classes and didn?t even show any sign of knowing each other. Dominick was the hot popular guy, and Oliver was the gay freak who got bullied every day.

At lunch time Oliver was sitting under a tree outside their school with a book on his lap and a pen in his hand. His best friend, who didn?t go to his school, had asked him to sing a song to her on her birthday, and he was trying to write it.

It was hard though, because all he could think about was Dominick and how hot he looked today. He couldn?t wait until tonight, to be able to have him all by himself for a couple of hours.

His cell phone vibrated in his pocket and when he took it up, he saw that it was a text from Dominick.

?You look so freaking cute today, can?t wait to come over later. Miss you! <3?

Oliver smiled and looked around to see if he could spot him somewhere. And he smiled even bigger when he could see him in the cafeteria window smiling back at him before turning away to laugh about something his friends said.

?You look even cuter and hotter! I miss you too <3. Are you sure we can?t sneak off somewhere to see each other, only for a bit? I can go into the bathroom, and you just come in a little after me. It?s the bathroom; people won?t think that we have a secret meeting, unless we go in there together, or come out of the same janitor?s closet. Everybody goes to the bathroom.?

He could see that it took a couple of seconds before Dominick took up his cell phone and read the text. Then he looked out at him and smiled.

?I?ll see you in a bit. Check the bathroom and text me when it?s clear.?

Oliver couldn?t pack his things and run to the bathroom any faster. He was finally going to be with his boyfriend at school. Maybe not the way he wanted it, but still.

When he got there, he checked the stalls to see if anyone was there, and when he couldn?t find anyone, he told Dominick that the coast was clear. Then he went over to the mirror to fix himself a bit before Dominick arrived.

When he heard the door opened, he quickly turned around with a big smile on his face, but the smile dropped when he saw Stevie stand there, a creepy smile on his face.

?You?re in the wrong bathroom, fag!? He was coming closer, and Oliver just kept backing up and trying to grab his things.

?No, I?m not. I?m a boy; I have as much right as you have to be in here.?

He was getting scared now. Stevie was much bigger and stronger than him; he would have no chance against him.

?Are you sure about that? You certainly don?t look like it, the way you dress, the way you color your hair, even the way you sound. Hell, if you grew boobs, got rid of your cock and got some shapes you would actually look hot! Instead, you choose to be an ugly fag dressed in girl's clothes. I don?t know why people like you choose to live. You?ll die of aids eventually. If not, someone will murder you, or rape you, and you?d kill yourself. You don?t deserve to live. You disgust me.?

He was getting really close now, and Oliver was beginning to get scared.He couldn?t move backwards anymore; his back was already pushed into the sink, and it hurt. He just hoped Dominick would come to save him soon.

?What?s the matter, fag? You don?t like me rubbing up against you? I thought it was what you liked, getting rubbed up against another guy. Having him touch you and pushing you down to your knees, making you suck his cock and then fuck you in the ass after. That's what you like, right; being a whore??

Stevie was standing centimeters away from him now; he could hear and feel him breathing. He was really scared, and didn?t have the nerve to answer back, so he just kept quiet.

?Oh, so you?re the quiet type of guy, huh? What?s the matter fag? Did the old guy you fucked last night choke you with his dick and made you lose your voice??

Still, he didn?t say anything, tears were starting to build up behind his eyelids, and he had to blink a few times to stop them from coming.

?I see, well, maybe I can fuck your voice up even more, and you?ll finally talk like a real man. Get on your knees!?

Now he panicked. Stevie wanted him to blow him off, right there, in the school bathroom, where Dominick or anyone else, for that matter, could be walking in every minute. It wasn't before Stevie started to force him down on his knees, that he finally let the tears fall.

?Oh, the fag is crying. That's so sad. Come on, I know you want to have this down your throat.?

?N-no, please d-don?t do th-this to me.?

Right then he could hear the bathroom door open, and Dominick?s voice came trough the room.

?Dude, what the hell are you doing??

He heard footsteps and a loud bang, but he was afraid to open his eyes to see what happened.

?What the fuck is wrong with you??

?Leave him alone!?

?Why are you defending him? He?s just a fag.?

?No, he?s not! He?s the most beautiful, wonderful, thoughtful and amazing person I know, and I feel sorry for you for not seeing that.?

?What the hell are you talking about? You?re a fag too??

?If being in love with Oliver makes me a fag, then I guess I am. And I?m really proud to say that I am. And if this means that I?ll lose you, my parents, my reputation and everything else, I don?t care. I?ll end up with the best boyfriend ever instead. But you know what the best part is? That you?ll lose everything too. You?re nothing without me. You?ve always lived in my shadow; people are friends with you because you?re my friend, you only get invited to parties because I?m invited, and now you don?t even have a place to live. Don?t bother coming to my house anymore. I?ll expect you to get your things out of my house as soon as possible and don?t even think about talking to me again. And if you ever lay a hand on Oliver again, something much worse than a broken nose and a split lip will happen.?

Stevie got up and ran away before Dominic got the chance to do anything else. Dominic ran over to where a scared looking boy was sitting, his head on his knees, and he was sobbing. People were piling up in the doorway, but all he cared about at that moment was Oliver, who flinched when he touched him.

?Hey, relax, it?s just me; everything is fine.?

He hugged him, and he felt Oliver hugging him back.

?I?m so sorry I?m late, I got caught up with a teacher who stopped me in the hallway.?

Oliver sniffed, but didn?t let go of Dominick. He just wanted this little moment to be real. To hug him while people were watching, to talk to him like no one was listening, and experience how it would be like to have the one you love beating up another guy for you.

?It?s okay; it made you come out of the closet. People know about us now, and you really don?t seem to care. It?s wonderful to know that you care about me so fucking much that you had to beat up your best friend and risked everything just to prove it. And I?m proud of you for that.?

Dominick smiled and shifted a little. He could hear everybody talk behind him, but all he really cared about was that one little person in front of him.

?I guess that seeing him speak and treat you that way made me so freaking angry that I couldn?t help myself. You don?t deserve any of that. You deserve what I couldn?t give you for over a year. You deserve to be happy, with me by your side; doing what normal couples do. Not to hide in your bedroom, and today I just realized that.?

He leaned down just so his forehead was resting against Oliver?s and smile.

?And I meant what I said. I really do love you.?

Oliver?s smile got even bigger, and he leaned up and kissed him; he didn?t care who was watching and how they would react; he was just so happy.

?I love you too.?

Da har man endelig fått skrevet noe igjen, etter sånn nesten et år. Det føles egentlig ganske fint, jeg har savnet å skrive egentlig. Og jeg slapp liksom å sitte lenge å pugge på hva jeg skulle skrive, denne bare kom til meg liksom. Jeg syntes det var utrolig gøy. Tenkte jeg skulle poste den her, også håper jeg at jeg får kommentarer og sånt. Det er alltid kos ^____^

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October 25. 2011.

I haven't written in anything in here since the day I said that I was running away from my parents, mostly because I forgot to take a pen with me and the fact that I was living on the streets for quite some time, but today I realized that I kinda missed it, so therefore I'm going to write what's been going on, where I stayed, how I survived and most important - how I met my boyfriend.

Yes, I got a boyfriend! I finally met someone I can trust, lean on and who loves me. But I'll write more about him later. I'll start from the beginning.

The day I ran away I didn't have a clue on where I was going, I just knew that I had to get away from them before I got killed, and that fast. They wouldn't mind, as long as they got rid of me one way or another, they'd be happy. So I packed a few of my important things; money, cellphone, my ipod, some clothes, a blanket, an old pillow, my lucky teddybear and of course my diary. I knew that if I stayed in the area where I lived, I would easily be found if my parents decided to report me missing, so I had to get into the city where I could hide between the large buildings and buy some food without being recognized, if they ever reported me missing, they'd only do it locally, because they think I'm afraid to go into the city and they don't think I'll survive a second there alone.

Anyway, after I packed my things I took a last look at my bedroom before I left. My parents were at work, so they couldn't see me leaving. Not that they would stop me anyway. They would probably think I was out fucking some of my gay friends. I didn't hesitate in leaving the area, I couldn't stand being there any longer, it just brought back some really ugly memories that overpowered the few good ones.

I left for the city right away, just so I could walk around a bit to find me a place to sleep before it got dark, I knew that the city could be a really scary place to be in alone at night.

After walking around for what seemed like hours looking for a place to sleep, I finally found a place. It was a dark alley behind an apartment building, there wasn't very much space behind there, but it was enough for me to be there. I was all alone, and didn't really seem like there had been someone there before me. It was the perfect place for me, I liked being alone, and between a big apartment building, and a giant brick wall; no one would find me. Perfect!

I just sat there for a couple of minutes thinking before I decided that I should get some food and drinks to store back there, just so I wouldn't starve or die of dehydration, so I got up, picked up my bag, and walked to the nearest store, trying to remember where I decided to stay. The store wasn't so far away and I bought some of the things I needed before heading back to my alley. It was beginning to get dark, and I was pretty tired and hungry when I finally got to settle down with the pillow and the blanket. So before I went to sleep I ate one of the many apples I bought and then I went to sleep.

Living in that alley wasn't that bad, but it wasn't that well thought out. It was in the middle of the summer when I decided to run away so the weather wasn't so bad. It was pretty hot outside actually, but as the days flew by, the fall started to come. It was raining and the wind was freaking cold. I also ran out of power on my cellphone and ipod. And I ran out of money. So after the first few months that I actually liked sleeping outside on hard ground, no quiet time, no hot food and no showers, my life felt like hell. I was freezing, wet and hungry. I missed having someone to talk to, even though it was just via facebook or something. I missed having a real bed, with a dry pillow and a duvet, and I missed hot water and hot food. But I wasn't going back to my parents. I had been gone for three months and as far as I know they never reported me missing. I was just going to have to live like that 'til I found something better.

Days, weeks and months flew by and I was still living in that alley, it had started to snow and I couldn't feel my fingers and toes. I had managed to get some food by looking trough trashcans, but I was still very hungry, so I was constantly walking around the city looking for something to eat.

As I was walking back to my alley one night, I was really hungry. I didn't have any luck in finding some food that day, and I was pretty exhausted. I was dizzy, I could barely walk straight and my eyes blurred occasionally. I was nearly by the alley when I just felt my feet disappear from under me, and everything went black.

The next thing I remember was that I woke up in a bedroom. Not my bedroom and not a hospital room. I just laid there staring around the room for a moment, the room wasn't very big, but it was still bigger than my room. It had light gray colored walls, a few pictures hanging around, a TV, a desk and a little couch in front of the TV. It felt so warm and welcoming, and I liked it.

The door suddenly burst open, and a woman, around her forty's maybe, mid-length blond hair and glasses came into the room. She smiled when she saw that I was awake. She then told me that her name was Amanda, and that she had found me right outside the apartment building. I was passed out and freezing cold, so she thought that I was dead, but she soon found out that I wasn't and brought me in. She then told me that the room I was sleeping in was her son's, and that he had helped her get me up to their apartment, and then went to sleep on the couch. She then proceeded to ask me all these sort of questions on where I was living, why I was outside and so on, and I just answered everything with the truth. I didn't want to lie.

After sitting with me, stroking my forehead for a while, she got up and found some of her sons clothes and told me that I could take a shower before I came downstairs to eat breakfast. I felt so special right then. A woman, who didn't even know me, took me in, let me sleep in her son's bed, let me wear his clothes and then gave me food. That was more than I ever wished my parents would do to me. I was lucky if I got some new clothes and a meal once in a while.

After I had taken the shower, and eaten breakfast, Amanda announced that I would be staying with them as long as I needed and that she would take me out to buy me my own clothes. I told her that it wasn't needed and that I could just wash the clothes that I had and use them, but she insisted.

After we had went shopping for clothes, we went grocery shopping for food I liked to eat, I didn't pick something fancy because I wasn't very picky, and then we went home. When we got there I finally got to meet her son, Mark. He was my age and very cute. And he seemed really exited to meet me. He even told me that I could sleep in his room.

Those people were the nicest people I had ever met, and I ended up staying there for a long time. We sat up a bed in Mark's room, so I didn?t have to sleep on the couch; I even got my own closet. And over the time I got a crush on Mark too. But I didn't tell him. I didn't want to be thrown out on the street again. I felt really at home there. Like they were my family I never had. They even got me presents for Christmas. I never even got that from my real family. I eventually got to go to school, where I actually got some friends and I liked being there. I met all of Mark's friends, and they all seemed to like me. It was some of the best months of my life.

On Valentines Day I didn't have a date or anything special to do, and neither did Mark, so Amanda said that we should go to a movie or something, and not think about what day it was, or that we didn't have a date. And we did. And I really loved it. Even though it wasn't really meant as a date, it felt like one to me. We were having so much fun throwing popcorn at eachother; make funny comments on the movie and eating pizza. And it seemed like Mark really enjoyed himself too. He even bought me a big teddybear that said "I love you" on it's stomach as a joke. My feelings for him got stronger that night.

The night was fantastic, and I didn't want it to end, but eventually it did. Amanda was sleeping when we got home, so we quietly went to our bedroom and got ready for bed. When I got undressed I could feel Mark stare at me from behind. I kinda liked it, so I didn't say anything about it. As I was pulling my t-shirt over my head, I could feel him behind me and his arms go around me and resting on my stomach. He then kept whispering things in my air, told me I was the most beautiful person he knew and that he was falling in love with me. I felt like I melted and I had to hold on to him just so I wouldn't fall to the floor. He then turned me around and kissed me. It was a gentle kiss, without tongue or any force. It was wonderful. And I gently whispered against his lips that I loved him.

Today we've been together for 8 months and 11 days, and we're still madly in love with eachother. While I'm writing this, Mark is sitting behind me, reading it all, giving me a kiss on the neck once in a while. I feel so lucky to have him and his mother of course. She was so happy when se found out that we were dating that she made us go out and have a real date in a really expensive restaurant. I don't know what I did to deserve these two people in my life. In a year everything changed so fast, I got a real home, a real kinda mother and a real boyfriend. I got everything I ever wanted in 16 years in under a year, and I couldn't be happier. My life is great.

At last, before I close this book for god knows how long I just really wanted to write something to Mark. Even though he is reading this while I'm writing it, I just want him to know how much he means to me and I want it to be in writing, so it will be in this book forever.

Mark, you're a wonderful guy, I donæt know what I did to deserve you. You let me sleep in your bed without even knowing who I was, how old I were and what I did for a living. You let me use your mother as the mother I never had and you even slept in the same room as you before you knew me. You don't know how much this mean to me. And I was so happy to find out that you felt the same about me and that I didn't have to hide it anymore. Everything from the first kiss to the first time we had sex, even before and after that have been amazing. You really are the perfect boyfriend and everything I ever wanted in a boyfriend. I will always love you.

-         Love Jake.

Lol, så eviglenge siden jeg har postet noe her. Gosh. Menmenmen, grunnen til det er at jeg har hatt en forferdelig skrivesperre og jeg har omtrent aldri tid til å skrive noe. Vært for mye ute, og hatt for lite tid til pc. Oioi. Men for ikke så lenge siden, så hadde jeg en innlevering i norsk, hvor man skulle skrive en fortelling. Det var en oppgave til den da, eller, man kunne velge, og en av de man kunne velge var liksom at det var en familie, som for andre virket som om de hadde det helt perfekt, men på insiden, hvor folk ikke kunne se, så var ikke ting så perfekt likevel. Så, da kom jeg til å tenke på den ene oneshoten jeg har skrevet, den hvor dama drepte hennes mann, pga han var utro. Så jeg oversatt, og skrev om litt på den, og leverte den inn. Fikk en 3'er på den da, fordi jeg delte den opp i for mange avsnitt og suger litt veldig på å/og regelen og på skildringer, menmen. Så, siden jeg ikke har postet noe her på en stund, så skal jeg ta å poste den her nå, så folk har noe å lese på. Yay. Så skal vi se hva som skjer fremover, men ikke forvent at jeg kommer til å poste noe her på en stund. Skrivesperren er her fortsatt. Men kanskje, om jeg får det til, så kan jeg poste denne en gang til senere med kommentarene fra læreren, men jeg vet ikke om det går. Vi får se :] Snakkes ihvertfall.

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Jeg satt på den gamle sofaen i garasjen, mens jeg ventet på at mannen min skulle komme hjem. Jeg brydde meg ikke om at det var kaldt og at jeg satt der i en tynn singlet og en kort shorts. Jeg brydde meg ikke om at klokken var 2 om morgenen og at øyene mine var hoven fra all gråtingen. Jeg bare trengte å få han til å vite at jeg visste det; jeg visste at han var utro mot meg.

Hvorfor han var utro vet jeg ikke. Vi var en perfekt liten familie, i følge andre da. Vi hadde en fin liten hage, perfekt hus, rene vinduer, volvo og til og med en liten hund. Alt var perfekt. Alt unntatt det faktumet at han nesten aldri var hjemme.

Da han kjørte inn i garasjen smilte og vinket han til meg. Han latet som om han ikke kom hjem fra en annen jente, han latet som om han elsket meg. Han visste ikke at jeg var gravid. Jeg fant det ut tidligere på dagen og hadde planer om å fortelle det til han når han kom hjem, men så ringte han for å si at han kom ikke hjem rett etter jobb den dagen, han skulle besøke sin bestevenn for å henge med noen av vennene sine. Og jeg trodde han, helt til kompisen ringte og spurte etter han. Jeg visste da at han var utro mot meg. Det ville forklare hvorfor han alltid gikk ut på tur midt på natten, når han trodde jeg sov. Hvorfor han alltid kom hjem nydusjet og med helt andre klær enn det han hadde på seg da han gikk.

Jeg tror ikke engang kompisene hans visste at han var utro, eller så ville de aldri ringt og spurt etter han. For dem var alt perfekt. Om de bare visste.

Da han hadde parkert bilen kom han bort til meg, og prøvde å gi meg en klem. Da jeg nektet så han meg dypt inn i øyene og smilte.

"Hva er galt, vennen? Har du grått? Du er jo iskald, hva gjør du her ute? Kom, vi går inn å henter noen tepper."

Han prøvde å klemme meg igjen, men jeg nektet, igjen.

"Nei, slipp meg. Jeg har det fint. Bare slutt å lat som om du bryr deg. Jeg vet det!"

Han svelget hardt og så over alt, men ikke direkte inn i mine øyne. Han prøvde å unngå meg.

"Hva snakker du? Jeg bryr da meg om deg. Og hva vet du?"

Jeg kunne se at han løy til. Han var virkelig dum nok til å tro at han kunne lyge for meg etter vi hadde vært sammen i ti år og gift i fem. Jeg hadde kjent han siden vi var små, vi var bestevenner helt til vi ble sammen, da begynte alt å falle i grus. Alle advarte meg om å bli sammen med min bestevenn, ?det vil bare ødelegge alt?, sa de, men jeg levde i en boble, min egen lille fantasiverden og ville ikke høre på dem. Nå angrer jeg sinnsykt.

"Herregud, slutt å lat som om du ikke vet hva jeg snakker om. Jeg vet du har løyet til meg. Jeg vet at du ikke har vært med de såkalte "kompisene" dine i kveld. Og jeg vet at du har vært utro mot meg!"

Jeg kunne kjenne tårene presse frem bak øyene mine, men jeg nektet å gråte mer. I hvert fall foran han, han fortjente ikke tårene mine. I hvert fall ikke nå.

"Hva snakker du om? Jeg er ikke utro mot deg. Hvem ga deg den tanken? Jeg har vært med gutta I hele dag! Bare ring Chris!"

Og lyginga forsatte. Som om jeg ikke kunne se rett igjennom han.

"Å vær så snill! Jeg trenger ikke ringe Chris, HAN ringte å spurte etter deg. Han ville spørre om du ville gå ut i dag, du vet, siden han har bursdag i dag. Du glemte det, gjorde du ikke? Og om du ikke er utro mot meg forklar meg hvorfor du alltid går ut midt på natten, hvorfor du alltid kommer nydusjet hjem og hvorfor du aldri har på deg de samme klærne du forlater huset med? Ikke engang prøv og fortell meg at du går og trener hver dag, mens du jobber og noen ganger til klokken to om natten!"

Han svettet nå, og fortsatte med å se alle andre steder enn direkte på meg. Han avslørte seg selv.

"Vennen, jeg LOVER deg at jeg ikke er utro, og nei, jeg glemte ikke Chris? bursdag. Jeg jobbet overtid på jobb. Sjefen ville at jeg skulle gjøre noe papirarbeid som skal inn i morgen. Alex skulle egentlig gjøre det, men han var syk i dag. Etter det gikk jeg ut med Chris og guttene. Grunnen til at Chris ringte til det var fordi jeg ikke svarte på mobilen min. Og jeg går forresten og trener hver dag. Jeg prøver å trene en time før jobb, og noen ganger et par timer etter jobb. Hvorfor plager det deg så mye? Jeg kommer jo hjem hver dag."

Tull! Han kommer alltid hjem etter jeg har lagt meg. Og det plager meg fordi jeg vil kunne legge meg inntil min mann og kysse han god natt hver kveld før jeg legger meg, men det skjer jo aldri.

"Slutt å lyge til meg, Joakim! Jeg er ikke dum! Du kommer alltid hjem etter at jeg har lagt meg. Jeg er hjemme hver kveld å venter på deg, og til slutt gir jeg opp, fordi øyene mine ikke klarer å holde seg oppe lenger og jeg bare går å legger meg. Og du svarer jo aldri mobilen din. Det plager meg. Jeg er kona di for guds skyld!"

"Jeg prøver å komme hjem til deg hver kveld før du legger deg, men du legger jo deg så tidlig. Jeg trenger litt tid alene, og kommer hjem når jeg vil. Du er kanskje kona mi, men det gir ikke deg retten til å bestemme når jeg må komme hjem. Jeg kan ikke være med deg hele tiden!"

"Du er aldri med meg, Joakim! Enten sover du, eller så er du på jobb, eller så er du bare ikke her. Du kommer ikke engang hjem rett etter jobb, du bare ringer og sier at du ikke kommer hjem og at jeg ikke trenger å sitte oppe å vente på deg. Og at du elsker meg. Ja, sikkert. Du er så full av dritt!"

Han tok et steg nærmere meg og prøvde å klemme meg, for tredje gang, men jeg nektet, igjen.

"Jeg elsker deg, virkelig. Jeg har elsket deg for alltid. Alltid gjort det og vil alltid gjøre det! Du må tro på meg."

Tårene presset på enda en gang, og denne gangen klarte ikke jeg holde de tilbake.

"Så hvorfor beviser du ikke det? Få meg til å tro på deg? Hvis du elsket meg så mye, hvorfor kommer du ikke hjem for å tilbringe litt tid med meg for en gangs skyld? Jeg hadde noen nyheter jeg ville fortelle deg, jeg var skikkelig glad da jeg fikk vite det, men det såret meg virkelig da du ringte å sa at du ikke kom hjem. Du ventet ikke engang på svar fra meg, du bare la på. Jeg hadde lagd middag til oss også, og jeg var dum nok til å tro at du ville komme hjem til meg, din kone."

Han åpnet munnen sin, det så ut som om han skulle svare, men han visste ikke engang hva han skulle si. Da han hadde stått i gapet i noen sekunder lenger, stoppet jeg han;

"Vet du hva? Du trenger ikke si noe. Bare kom deg ut herfra, og hent tingene dine imorgen. Det er slutt! Bare glem alt om meg, din gravide kone!"

Utrykket hans da jeg sa det var uforglemmelig! Hvis det ikke var for at alt var så seriøst, så hadde jeg ledd meg i hjel.

"Hva? Er du gravid?"

"Ja, jeg er gravid. Og hvis du hadde hørt på et ord jeg har sagt, så ville du fått med deg at jeg ville at du skulle komme hjem i kveld, fordi jeg hadde noe jeg ville fortelle deg. Jeg kan se hvor mye du bryr deg. Etter du har forlatt denne garasjen i natt, så vil jeg aldri seg deg igjen, noen gang. Du henter tingene dine i morgen, når jeg er på jobb, og om noen av mine ting er borte, så anmelder jeg deg for stjeling. Du får ikke ha noe å gjøre med babyen. Jeg trenger verken pengene eller hjelpen din."

Jeg snudde meg bort fra han og skulle gå ut av garasjen da han tok tak i armen min og dro meg tilbake.

"Hør her! Det er min baby også, og jeg skal være en god far for den. Han skal vite at jeg eksisterer, selv om du liker det eller ikke!"

Jeg prøvde å komme meg løs, men han var for sterk for meg, og drev bare å dyttet meg lenger og lenger inn i veggen.

"Glem det! Når babyen vokser opp, skal jeg fortelle den hvordan dens far var. Hvordan dens far løy og var utro mot dens mor."

Han så sint ut, han kløp armen min skikkelig hard, så hardt at det gjorde vondt, og han drev fortsatt å dyttet meg, selv om jeg ikke kunne komme meg lenger.

"Slipp meg!"

Jeg begynte å gråte igjen, men han ville ikke slutte. Jeg kunne så vidt puste og det føltes som om jeg skulle besvime når som helst. Jeg prøvde å strekke armen min og ta tak i det første jeg fikk tak i. Jeg brydde meg ikke om hva det var akkurat da, jeg bare tok tak i det og slo Joakim i hodet med det. Det var ikke før jeg så den blodige hammeren i hånden min og Joakim på gulvet i en dam av blod at jeg endelig besvimte.

My hobby, if you can call it that, is writing. I really, really like to write stories and such. It started off simple with a really, really bad Norwegian chaptered story about a boyband I liked about three or four years ago called Dream Street, which is now deleted. It sucked.

Since then I?ve written 30 + stories in Norwegian and English. I?ve written both oneshots (only one chapter) and chaptered. I?ve also switched between writing fanfics (about celebrities), originals (made up character) and sometimes both, just so it won?t get boring. At the moment, everything I?ve written is on a harddisk I can?t access, so I can?t write down all the different things I?ve written about, but I can tell from those I?ve posted online.

I?ve posted 17 stories online, 5 chaptered ones, and 10 oneshots, or, it?s really only 4 chaptered ones, since I?ve posted two of the same, just one in Norwegian and one in English.

Every single one of my stories is total different from eachother. If everything is about the same, and about the same people, it gets boring. I like to use different celebrities, and mix in my original characters. I have two made up characters that I often use, which is named Theodore and Hunter. Other then that I just mix myself and people I know into it as well.

I tend to enter contests and such, just so I can get a challenge while writing. I like to just get something thrown at me, and I have to make something out if this. The most recent oneshot I wrote was for a contest. The task was to pick a number, and someone was gonna send me a room, and everything I wrote about had to happen in that room. I got the garage, and ended up writing about a woman who found out that her husband was cheating on her, so she decided to wait for him in the garage until he got home, so she could confront him. They started fighting, and he scared her, so she did the first thing that came into her mind, and hit him in the head with the first thing she could reach. It was a hammer, and she killed him.

I get inspiration from a lot of things. I can just sit outside one summer night, and just look at things, and then I think of something that eventually becomes a story. The computer, TV?s, people, pictures, car rides, other stories, showers, dreams, music, and a lot of other things inspire me too.

Things as simple as a cake can make me come up with something that I want to write, and I love it. Writing is something that I can be myself in. I don?t have to tell people all this crazy ideas, and hope for them not to think I?m crazy. I can just write it down, post it and hope for people to read it and like it. I don?t think any of my real life friend have ever read something that I?ve written. It just get?s to embarrassing.

I would love to write a book sometimes, but before that I need to get much better in my style of writing. I jump a lot in time and stuff like that when I?m writing, and it confuses me sometimes. But someday, when I get older I?m gonna get it right.